


Stars That Clear

by foggynelson



Series: Reflections of the Light [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 17:24:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6619633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raphael can tell the sun is high in the sky and his body feels it, worn down from the long night they had. “Let’s get some rest, all right? So that way we’ll be super ready for our date tomorrow.” Simon nods. </p>
<p>Raphael shifts so his back is pressed to Simon’s chest. Simon pulls Raphael closer and wraps his arms around him. He kisses Raphael’s neck and whispers, “I love you.” </p>
<p>“And I you.”</p>
<p>aka Simon takes Raphael out on a date and it doesn't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars That Clear

**Author's Note:**

> Lowkey based on some person stuff. Really, though, I just wanted another excuse to write these beautiful autistic boyfriends. 
> 
> Not required reading, but this is written in connection with [Suspended in this Bliss](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6573484).

Raphael hadn’t planned on saying it, yet he still did. Simon looks at him, eyes wide, as he continues. “We would go every summer, at least a few times. My mother loved everything about the beach. She looked forward to finally having a day off and all of us being together. It meant so much to her. I really miss it.” Raphael stops, takes an unneeded breath (something he only does when he’s nervous), and then says, “Anyway, you were talking about a trip you took with Clary.”

Simon stares at Raphael and doesn’t speak. When he finally opens his mouth, he says, “Raphael,” his voice soft and smooth. Raphael knows Simon; he knows what he’s going to do and say and how he’s gonna try and make everything better but Raphael wants none of it. He glares at Simon and hopes that’s enough.

Simon seems to get it as soon he’s saying, “Oh right! Yeah! So Clary and I were at the beach for the first time by ourselves and Clary thought it would be a good idea to…” Raphael does his best to pay attention, but his mind drifts. He’s normally good and paying attention to Simon, becoming immersed in the stories he tells. Now, though, Raphael is stuck in the past, no matter how hard he tries to escape. In the end, he gives up, and proceeds to live in the past, listening to his mother talk about how happy she is.

 

It’s not something Raphael can place, but he knows Simon’s been acting weird the past few days. Raphael worries that oversharing was too much for him, that Simon had relegated him to the part of the silent boyfriend. He hopes everything’s okay and tries to get himself to just ask, but he never does. 

Then, suddenly, Simon is back again. He’s even overly affectionate, as if he realizes he has to make up for what was lacking. Raphael isn’t going to complain. He loves the feeling of his and Simon’s fingers laced together; he loves the taste of Simon’s lips; he loves falling asleep in Simon’s arms. For someone who’s always struggled with physical touch, Raphael sure loves touching Simon. 

“There’s somewhere I want to take you tomorrow,” Simon tells Raphael as they lie down in bed. At this point, Simon almost always sleeps in Raphael’s room. Simon likes to claim it’s just because Raphael’s sheets are nicer and his feel like sandpaper, but when Raphael offers to buy Simon the same as his, Simon tells him not to waste the money.

They’re facing each other, hands held tight. Raphael’s still not used to looking someone in the eye likes this, for such a long period. He has to look away every once in awhile. But looking at Simon is beautiful. Raphael is amazed at everything Simon is and often he gets lost in this fact, gets lost in the thought that somehow Simon Lewis is real and is in front of him.

“You wanna take me somewhere? Like a date?” Raphael teases. Simon nods fervently, to which Raphael chuckles. “Okay. I guess I’ll go out with you.”

Simon smiles and moves closer until they’re kissing. Raphael’s gotten a lot better since their first kiss. Raphael loves everything about this moment right here. It’s not perfect, there are parts of him that are still shaky and anxious, but he feels safe more than anything. He feels loved and cared for and Raphael loves it.

When they part, Simon has the biggest grin on his face. It spreads and Raphael is smiling wide, too. Raphael can tell the sun is high in the sky and his body feels it, worn down from the long night they had. “Let’s get some rest, all right? So that way we’ll be super ready for our date tomorrow.” Simon nods. 

Raphael shifts so his back is pressed to Simon’s chest. Simon pulls Raphael closer and wraps his arms around him. He kisses Raphael’s neck and whispers, “I love you.” 

“And I you.”

 

“So where are you taking me?” are the first words Raphael asks when they awake the next night. 

Simon laughs. “It’s a surprise!”

“You know I feel about surprises,” Raphael reminds him. 

“I know, but I promise you’ll love this.” Raphael rolls his eyes. He hopes he does. Surprises make him really tense. He needs to know what the plan is and what is going to happen and what exactly he needs to prepare for. He trusts Simon, though, and that’s the only reason he doesn’t argue.

They are ready and leave right as the sun has disappeared. Simon has his junk of a van, despite Raphael’s instance they just take one of the motorcycles. They drive for a while. Simon has music playing, a mixture of indie songs Raphael had never heard before he met Simon. Simon sings along with his favourites and Raphael can’t help but smile at the sound of his voice.

When he’s not singing, Simon talks, rambling on about the comics he’s been reading lately. Raphael remembers reading comics when he was younger, but it’s something he hasn’t touched since he was a child. Still, Raphael enjoys listening to Simon’s voice as he tells of heroism and love.

They’re almost there when Raphael realizes where they’re going. A lump grows in his throat and he has to start playing with his spinner ring. When they arrive, Raphael can’t find words to say. Simon is beaming at him as he jumps out of the car. He runs around to the other side and opens Raphael’s door.

Raphael is grateful that Simon insisted he not wear one of his suits. He’s wearing one of Simon’s t-shirts and jeans and he still feels over dressed. He proceeds to take his shoes off before stepping out onto the sand. It’s rough against his skin, each grain sharp, but it feels so familiar, bringing the past back to life.

“You all right, Raph?” Simon questions, stepping closer. “I know you don’t like surprises. I thought you would like this, but I’m sorry if you don’t. We can leave right now if you prefer.”

“No, no,” Raphael quickly responds. “It’s a good surprise.” Simon’s beaming again and Raphael lets a small smile free.

Simon reaches his hand out and Raphael takes it. The two begin to walk around, making their way to the waterfront. They’re the only ones as far as they can see, which is nice. The moon is bright above them, the stars shining sweetly. It’s beautiful, Raphael thinks. Truly beautiful.

The water is cold is it hits them, but manageable. Raphael remembers when he was younger, the small yelp he would let out as he touched the water for the first time. It’s nice, though, walking along the shore. Simon doesn’t talk, instead just rests his head on Raphael’s shoulder as they make their way along.

“You wanna swim?” Simon questions a bit later. Raphael’s not sure, but he finds himself nodding anyway. “Awesome. I brought us swim suits!” Simon begins to run up to the van and Raphael trails behind, running at normal human speed.

They change, Raphael wearing a plain blue pair, Simon’s covered in the batman symbol. Raphael pulls Simon into him and whispers, “You’re such a dork,” before kissing his cheek. Raphael takes his ring off, placing it in a cup holder in the back, not wanting any risk of losing it.

Raphael pulls Simon along until they’re in the water. It’s nice. The water cold, yes, but soft and soothing against his skin. That is, until a wave comes crashing into Raphael. The water gets into his mouth and eyes and ears and everything stings and aches. He shakes it off and forces himself to focus on Simon, focus on the way he feels as he lies there, floating.

And it works for a bit, but each time another wave crashes into him, the harder it is for Raphael to keep those things in mind. After a large wave crashes into Raphael again, he lets out a loud scream. He swims to the shore and gets out, the sand so rough against his feet he can barely stand to move.

He races to the van and jumps into the back. He wraps himself in a towel and sits down, his legs dangling off the edge of the van. It’s only seconds later before Simon is there with him. “Are you all right?” Simon asks, he reaches out and touches Raphael’s leg. The touch is soft, caring, but it’s too much for Raphael.

“Don’t touch me,” Raphael shouts, his voice harsh. “Please,” he adds a moment later, realizing how he sounded. Simon lets go.

“Sorry, sorry. Is there anything I can do?” Simon questions. 

“Just sit with me,” Raphael responds. Simon nods and climbs in next to him, making sure they don’t touch at all. “Can you hand me my ring?” Raphael questions a moment later, nodding towards where he placed it. Simon grabs it and hands it to him.

Raphael spins it around, over and over, faster and faster with each turn. It helps and Raphael feels a little more grounded, but he’s still struggling. He doesn’t know what to do when he once again remembers his mother. There was a song she would sing when he was having a hard time and the words and her voice would always help sooth him.

He’s sung the song before, but it takes him a few moments to remember how it goes. He starts, his voice so small, basically a whisper. “De la Sierra Morena, cielito lindo, vienen bajando, un par de ojitos negros, cielito lindo, de contrabando.” He continues on, keeping his eyes down, looking at his fingers as they spin his ring around.

Feeling the vibrations in his voice, hearing the words, and thinking of his mother singing them, helps Raphael so much. The more he continues on, the more he feels okay, feels safe, under control. He feels all right and he’s grateful for that. 

When he finishes, he leans over and rests his head on Simon’s chest. The touch feels nice now. “That was beautiful,” Simon whispers. Simon reaches and touches Raphael’s back tentatively, to which Raphael nods. Simon proceeds to run his hand up and down. 

“I love you so much,” Simon tells Raphael. “I love every aspect of you. No one’s ever been as good to me as you are. I’ve never felt as good as I do with you. Just to remind you.” Raphael doesn’t speak, but shifts his head so he can leave small kisses against Simon’s neck.

“I love you too,” Raphael whispers at the base of his neck. He wants to say more, to express everything that Simon is to him, but he doesn’t know how. But he has a feeling Simon just knows. Simon knows that he’s everything to Raphael. With each kiss, Raphael leaves the words he can’t say against Simon’s skin and hopes Simon understands.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please let me know what you think and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/). And send me [prompts](http://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/prompt-page) too.


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